The love – hate relationship in Japan is a constant confusion. In the cities, foreigners are 10 a penny (roughly ¥2.4). You can walk down the street and people don’t bat an eyelid. It’s not quite the same out in the countryside. Being stared at is just something you have to learn to accept after a while. The fact is you look very out of place, so people will wonder who you are and why you are in their little town. I’ve experienced very little hostility in Japan – bizarrely, the most hostility I have experienced in Japan has been from the nurse at one of my elementary schools, but that’s for another blog entry! However, being stared at by most people you pass does make you feel a little uneasy and self-conscious. Also, the wonderful phrase “gaijin da!” is a delight – literally “it’s an outsider!” However, if a group of Japanese people walked down the high street in Stornoway, they would attract a few glances, too, so one shouldn’t be surprised by the situation one faces…should one?Old people stare because they are old and the don’t care if you know they are staring at you (or maybe they are unaware they are doing it (or maybe they haven’t been told that the war is over)), kids stare out of curiosity, and middle-aged people don’t stare so much as shoot fleeting glances. While you can’t call this behaviour hate, it is enough to make you feel a little unwelcome if you happen to be having a bad day already.
The love in the love – hate relationship comes from the students (and the all-singing, all dancing petrol pump guys, but I get the feeling they treat everyone the same – but they do make me feel special).
I’m not a full teacher and I’m not a student, so I fall somewhere between – kind of like an uncle who comes to your class once in a while (but not in a creepy way). I have no say with regards to discipline in class (that is responsibility of the Japanese teacher), but fortunately discipline is not an issue at my school. So, my job is to try and banter with the students and encourage them as much as I can in whichever way I can – obviously, this is my interpretation of my job description!
The third grade graduated from my JHS yesterday and I was chuffed to find a big card on my desk with messages from about 30 students. They all seemed to enjoy my classes and find them interesting, but the quality of the writing makes me wonder how much was actually learned! Still, the gesture was very sweet and it was nice to know that they had fun in class. At the graduation enkai (drinking party – crap translation, try banquet, dinner, etc) many of the teachers cried. Only then was it clear how strong the bond between teachers and students is in a country where keeping your emotions hidden is encouraged. Apparently the recent graduates were a bit off the rails when they came to Itakura JHS three years ago, so seeing them mature into responsible and capable students was a great reward for the teachers. I should point out that the enkai is only for the teachers, not the students. Anyway, back on track…
The more embarrassing form of love in the love – hate relationship is when people try and pair you off with one of their friends, pretty much because you are foreign and, by default, a gentleman – not the worst stereotype to be tarred with (there is another stereotype about foreign males which isn’t bad either…).
Just this morning the vice principal at one of schools asked me what I thought about moving into her family home and dating one of her daughters – one is 18 and the other 21. How does one respond to that? “Sounds good, but have you got a picture of the girls and do you have Sky Sports?” I’ve found that if you haven’t got the language to swerve an embarrassing situation like that, laughing it off works wonders.
