“Chocolate?! You should have!”

Ah, Valentine’s Day has swung by for another year, and again there seems to have been some awful mix-up at the post office and none of my cards arrived on time (or at all, in fact). I thought it was just a Royal Mail thing, but the problem seems to be prevalent in Japan too.
A country not renowned for it’s Catholicism, Japan has, however, embraced Saint Valentine – the Patron Saint of marketing. However, it’s not so much love that’s in the air, but obligation…
Japan has taken the concept of Valentine’s Day and wafu-ed it up a bit (wafu means “Japanese style” in Japanese). Guys, if you have had a hard time living up to your partner’s Valentine’s Day expectations (maybe your flowers weren’t dazzling enough, or the restaurant wasn’t fancy enough, or the weather in Rome wasn’t sunny enough), then come over to Japan, where the shoe is firmly on the other foot – well, for a month, at least.
February 14th is the day in the year when Japanese women show the men in their lives just how much they care, while the guys put their feet up and wait for the gifts to roll in. Chocolate is the customary gift, but it’s not only for your husband, partner or even that special someone you haven’t plucked up the courage to ask out yet… there is a special kind of chocolate for your boss and male co-workers, too.
Yes, Japan has successfully marketed the “giri-choco” or “obligation chocolate.” The giri-choco is big business here, and boxes can be found in all kinds of shops, all with “obligation chocolate” emblazoned on the front. Company Chiefs will receive dozens of boxes from female colleagues, which are then taken home and shared amongst the family. The female boss, though still a rarity in Japan, can provide a bit of a dilemma for male employees…
The exchanging of gifts is a crucial element in strengthening social relationships in Japan, and it is a very important part of one’s working life. O-miyage (the “honourable souvenir”) is used to keep maintain good working relations, so should you take a trip anywhere during company time, be sure to bring back a generous box of speciality cakes or treats from wherever you went for your colleagues to share. Shops specializing in o-miyage can be found at airports and train stations, so you needn’t go out of your way in order to meet your obligation.
The chaps don’t have it all their own way, however. Men must keep track of all women they have received chocolate from and return the favour on White Day, March 14th (a fried slice of marketing genius, I think you’ll agree). Originally known as Marshmallow Day, where the gift of choice was, you guessed it, marshmallow, chocolate manufacturers got in on the act and white chocolate is now the accepted gift (marshmallows and lingerie are also ok, but perhaps not together). Be careful though, you have to give chocolate to everyone who gave you chocolate in February, not just those whose feelings you reciprocate…

Going to town on the pearly whites

There are certain things that one takes for granted in Japan after a while. What may seem curious at best on first viewing is rapidly regarded as par for the course after the third or fourth encounter. Some examples include: buying ready-made peanut butter sandwiches with the crusts already lopped off (a possible reason for the lack of hairy chests in Japan); the wearing of a white medical mask if you are ill in order to prevent those around from becoming ill too; a special pair of toilet slippers to don for your trip to the porcelain throne; and who could forget the communal public baths where everything is left to hang out.
Today’s visit to Elementary School brought one such matter to mind – synchronised tooth brushing. I don’t brush after lunch – I’m a morning and night guy and all my teeth haven’t fallen out yet. I’m not suggesting that my dental habits are better than anyone else’s, but they have stood me in good stead and given me the winning smile I have today. My students all brush after lunch. At Junior High School this left to the students’ discretion, but at Elementary School they have a brush-in-time-to-the-music method.
After the post-lunch “gochisousamadeshita!” (it was a feast!) cry, the students reach for their brushes like a samurai would his trusty sword. Then, a designated kid hits play on the CD player and we’re off. Rest assured that it’s a suitably upbeat rhythm we dance to here, no room for slouches. The same kid who got the party started then dashes over to grab a massive cardboard arrow and wheels out an equally massive map (if you like) of a good, healthy set of nashers and guides everyone through the two minute drill, thrusting the arrow from molar to canine with the grace of a daddy longlegs. The kids don’t understand why Colin Sensei doesn’t join in with the fun, but I am here to add the “international” element to their school experience…

Winter on a plate

Oden (n) – a Japanese winter dish utterly devoid of flavour. However, if pushed, I would suggest that it tastes like a beach, if you can imagine what that would taste like if it were served up on a plate. If you’ve followed me this far, think specifically of Bayble Beach on the Isle of Lewis on a balmy Tuesday afternoon in November. Seconds anyone?? At school in Japan, no food is allowed to go to waste and every pupil is allocated the same amount of the same stuff – there’s no choice in the matter, you get your portion, end of... As a result, any food left over is put up as a prize in a “janken” contest (paper, scissors, stone to you and I). This works well on a good school lunch day, but today, the leftover oden was the booby prize, so the loser of janken “won” the right to the food, not the winner.
Oden comprises of, among other things, a hearty slice of Japanese giant radish (think rolling pin giant), potatoes, carrots, a boiled egg, konnyaku (“transparent yam starch cake” – get any thought of “cake” out of your head and think “tough, speckled jelly made from recycled cardboard” – if you ask me, there’s simply not enough triangular grey food), soggy fried tofu (which melts on your chop sticks long before it has a chance to melt in your mouth), seaweed in a comedy bowtie shape, and chikuwa (fish paste tubes – which resemble a cow colon with something unmentionable in the middle…).
Now, once you’ve assembled all of the above, throw it in a pot and simmer for an interminable length of time in a kelp-based stock. Accompany with white rice liberally sprinkled with seaweed flakes and mini-(but whole – head, tail, ears, the lot)-fish. Considering simply how much food is there, it’s amazing that there is next-to-no flavour. As a possible dessert, try a tangerine or a bag of lemons to wake up your dormant taste buds.
I don’t often rant on Japanese cuisine, but this is a winter treat that I wanted to share. Winter is a tough time over here and anything that’ll make you warm is a bonus. If you are really stuck I’ve found that you can boil a whole octopus, put it on your head and tie the tentacles under your chin. Also, chikuwa tubes can be worn on your fingers a la hula hoops…
Good luck and happy cooking!
Colin.