Winter on a plate

Oden (n) – a Japanese winter dish utterly devoid of flavour. However, if pushed, I would suggest that it tastes like a beach, if you can imagine what that would taste like if it were served up on a plate. If you’ve followed me this far, think specifically of Bayble Beach on the Isle of Lewis on a balmy Tuesday afternoon in November. Seconds anyone?? At school in Japan, no food is allowed to go to waste and every pupil is allocated the same amount of the same stuff – there’s no choice in the matter, you get your portion, end of... As a result, any food left over is put up as a prize in a “janken” contest (paper, scissors, stone to you and I). This works well on a good school lunch day, but today, the leftover oden was the booby prize, so the loser of janken “won” the right to the food, not the winner.
Oden comprises of, among other things, a hearty slice of Japanese giant radish (think rolling pin giant), potatoes, carrots, a boiled egg, konnyaku (“transparent yam starch cake” – get any thought of “cake” out of your head and think “tough, speckled jelly made from recycled cardboard” – if you ask me, there’s simply not enough triangular grey food), soggy fried tofu (which melts on your chop sticks long before it has a chance to melt in your mouth), seaweed in a comedy bowtie shape, and chikuwa (fish paste tubes – which resemble a cow colon with something unmentionable in the middle…).
Now, once you’ve assembled all of the above, throw it in a pot and simmer for an interminable length of time in a kelp-based stock. Accompany with white rice liberally sprinkled with seaweed flakes and mini-(but whole – head, tail, ears, the lot)-fish. Considering simply how much food is there, it’s amazing that there is next-to-no flavour. As a possible dessert, try a tangerine or a bag of lemons to wake up your dormant taste buds.
I don’t often rant on Japanese cuisine, but this is a winter treat that I wanted to share. Winter is a tough time over here and anything that’ll make you warm is a bonus. If you are really stuck I’ve found that you can boil a whole octopus, put it on your head and tie the tentacles under your chin. Also, chikuwa tubes can be worn on your fingers a la hula hoops…
Good luck and happy cooking!
Colin.